Be sure to read it.
Talk about clever and to
the point!
Never heard it put quite like this
before
The Maker (GOD) is recalling
all human beings—
regardless of year of
manufacture or model—
due to a serious defect in
the Core Principles Unit
(CPU), commonly referred to
as, “the heart.”
This
factory recall aims to address a terminal
malfunction
observed
to have developed in the original self-replicating
prototype
units code named “Adam and Eve.”
It
has been formally noted in the Maker’s legal
documents
that
there ensued an unmitigated reproduction
of
the same defect in all subsequent units
This malfunction has been
identified and duly documented as
Self-replicating Internal
Non-morality [SIN].
Symptoms
include (but are not limited to):
1. Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal emissions
3. Amnesia of origin
4. Lack of peace and joy
5. Selfish or violent behavior
6. Depression or confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The Maker, who is neither
liable nor at fault for this SIN condition, is
providing factory-authorized repair service to
correct this performance deficit, completely free of
charge to each human being, as he or she reports to
the manufacturer’s appointed representative for
renewal of the CPU.
The Repair Technician,
JESUS, has most generously offered to
bear the entire burden of the staggering cost of
these repairs. There is no additional fee required.
The number to call for
repair in all areas is: P-R-A-Y-E-R.
Once connected, please upload your
burden of SIN through the REPENTANCE procedure.
Next, download ATONEMENT from
the Repair Technician, Jesus, into the
heart component.
No matter how big or small the SIN defect is, Jesus will
replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the operating manual, the B.I.B.L.E.
(Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth) for
further details on the use of these fixes.
WARNING: The
Manufacturer foresees that continuing to operate the
human being unit without correction must result in
catastrophic failure [eternal death]. Furthermore,
upon reaching a state of eternal death, any and all
manufacturer warranties would thereby be
irretrievably voided, and would result in permanent
incarceration of the human being unit in the cosmic
garbage pit [the Lake of Fire].
To avoid this scenario,
and for free emergency service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human being units not
responding to this recall action will have to be
scrapped in the furnace [The Lake of Fire—where the
worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched]. Any and all
units found to still retain the SIN malfunction will
not be permitted to enter Heaven. This is
done so as to prevent contamination of that
facility. Thank
you for your attention!
This generous offer is for a limited time
only, and will not be repeated after your
lifetime has
expired.
"But
encourage one another daily, as long as it
is called Today, so that none of you may be
hardened by sin's deceitfulness.”
Hebrews 13:3
--GOD
P.S.: Please assist where possible by
notifying others of this important recall notice,
and you may contact the Father any time by “Knee
mail!”
Because HE Lives!
The foregoing was an edited version of http://www.fivedoves.com/letters/march2012/kimberly35.htm.