I have been reading your things you are say on doves.  I know what you are going through as I too am going through this my self. Read let freedom ring this is from the Lord. Here something for you to make you feel better, from a song we sung in church on Sunday:
 
“In Jesus’ name we press on.  In Jesus’ name we press on.  Dear Lord with the prize, clear before our eyes, we find the strength to press on.”
 
There is hope.
 
-- Chris