Steve W (6 Dec 2011)
"To Charles: Your wife's Ultimatum     What will you do ?"


 
 
Charles said:
 
" My wife said if I tell her one more thing about the end coming I can leave or she will. She does not want to hear any more. We are Babylon you all see the middle east about to blow china Russia threatening www 3 the thing is she wants to put her Christmas tree up tell my son to write to Santa she says I was wrong about the 29th when I am wrong about the 20th and everything just goes on will I pick another date? I told her its about faithfulness of watching and God revealing the signs and we are commanded to watch and warn about what we see. She says I can leave and go to this she can support my son or shut up and do things her way. My entire family and here would support her. Basically the world sees. None of this and thinks we are nuts. They want to be deceived and not see the truth and support each other in the lie. Religion holes them up they say Jesus but do not realize being friends with this world is enmity to God. That the rapture is our only hope. She says this had consumed me I said God is a consuming fire. She says I got a choice I said the easy choice was to play normal husband and not tell her and go along. But I had to listen to God. So as a punk song said should I stay or should I go if I stay there will be trouble if I go it will be double. Paul was right it was better not to be married at the end. I do not even trust myself not to screw up before God comes what do I do? "
 
 
Hi Charles,
 
Let me first of all say I empathize with you. I understand your predicament. I had been in a similar situation in that my wife was upset with all the time and energy I would
spend reading,researching,and discussing end time events. Here is what I have learned and implemented that seems to have brought peace for both of us. Hopefully you can glean
some things that will help you.
 
1)  God has entrusted you with your wife and children. They should be your top priority next to God. We are commanded to love our wives' as Christ loved the church.
So what does this look like as it relates to your situation ? Obviously your wife does not share your same enthusiasm for end time things. Mine does not either. So what are we to do?
 a) Don't bring up the topic unless she initiates it. It's OK if she is not wired like you. Just because she doesn't share the same passion doesn't make her less a Christian. Women love to talk
and be heard. Take time daily to get in her boat. Let her share her feelings,struggles,joys,and frustrations. Don't try to fix her. You can't. That's God's job. Simply listen to her. If you do this
continually, her level of respect for you will increase, not to mention her level of trust.
b) Pray with and for her. Not about the Rapture, but her concerns and struggles. She will appreciate it.
c) Bring her flowers at least twice a month or some other gift that shows how much you care. Also, go on date nights at least twice a month.
 
2) When God commands us to watch, it doesn't mean reading end time books or articles. Nor does it mean keeping up with the latest headlines. It has nothing to do with rapture blogs.
Watching does not involve spending a majority of your time and energy on the internet that deals with eschatology. In other word Charles, watching is not a state of mind, but rather a posture
of one's heart. Watching is going about the Father's business. That will look differently for each of us. Whether you wife believes Christ will come back this month, next year, or whenever is irrelevant.
What matters, is that she believes He will come back someday, and that she, like all of us, needs to know it could be tomorrow, but not be in our lifetime. You see Charles, none of us really knows for sure.
If you begin setting dates for people and it it doesn't happen, you will lose respect and credibility. If God wanted us to know, He would of told us. It's a mystery. Yes, we may well be in the final months or years,
but we have been saying this since the mid 70's. Don't be too surprised if we ring in the new year of 2012. We just don't know for sure. So my admonition for you is to go about the Father's business. That may
mean planning a nice vacation with the family, a romantic getaway weekend with your wife, visiting an assisted living place and just loving on folks. It may be a prison ministry or going to a  local mission that feeds the
homeless. To me, this is watching. Think of how a hundred years ago folks watched. Or how about the Ugandan widow with five children who lives out in the bush in a hut. How is she suppose to watch?
You see, watching in the truest sense is much broader than you may think it to be. It's all about one's heart toward Christ. It's an attitude from the heart.
 
3) Charles, you need to surround yourself with mature Christian men. Perhaps you do now. But don't talk religion and doctrine. Talk about your heart. Your struggles. In other words, find some
guys who want to be real. Iron sharpens iron. Too many Christian guys are isolated. We need one another desperately. We don't all need to have the same theology or be from the same denomination.
We just have to want to love Jesus. If they don't share your same passion with end time events, that's OK. You need to talk about the real Charles that may feel lonely, hurt, misunderstood ,and afraid. You will minister to one another by listening and caring. This will greatly help you with life's challenges.
 
Lastly, you have a good heart Charles. God has blessed you with much. You have many gifts. Let our Lord utilize the talents in ways you may never have thought of. Stay committed to
your marriage. Please take this advice. You will begin to notice a heavy burden lift, and God's joy will begin to flood your life in ways you may have never experienced.
 
My love to you brother, Stay in the game!
 
Steve W.