This is
totally
amazing. Be
sure to read
it. Talk
about clever and
to the point!
Never
heard it put
quite like
this before
The Maker of
all human beings
(GOD) is recalling
all units
manufactured,
regardless of make
or year, due to a
serious defect in
the primary and
central component
of the heart.
This is due
to a malfunction
in the original
prototype units
code named Adam
and Eve, resulting
in the
reproduction of
the same defect in
all subsequent
units.
This defect
has been
identified as
"Subsequential
Internal
Non-morality,"
more commonly
known as S.I.N.,
as it is primarily
expressed.
Some of
the symptoms
include:
1.
Loss of direction
2. Foul vocal
emissions
3. Amnesia of
origin
4. Lack of peace
and joy
5. Selfish or
Violent
behavior
6. Depression or
confusion
7. Fearfulness
8. Idolatry
9. Rebellion
The
Manufacturer, who
is neither liable
nor at fault for
this defect, is
providing
factory-authorized
repair and service
free of charge to
correct this
defect.
The Repair
Technician,
JESUS, has
most generously
offered to bear
the entire burden
of the staggering
cost of these
repairs. There is
no additional fee
required.
The number
to call for repair
in all areas is:
Once
connected, please
upload your burden
of SIN
through the REPENTANCE
procedure.
Next,
download ATONEMENT
from the
Repair Technician,
Jesus, into
the heart
component.
No matter
how big or small
the SIN defect is,
Jesus will
replace it with:
1. Love
2. Joy
3. Peace
4. Patience
5. Kindness
6. Goodness
7. Faithfulness
8. Gentleness
9. Self control
Please see the
operating manual,
the B.I.B.L.E.
(BEST Instructions
Before Leaving
Earth) for further
details on the use
of these fixes.
WARNING:Continuing
to operate the
human being unit
without correction
voids any
manufacturer
warranties,
exposing the unit
to dangers and
problems too
numerous to list,
and will result in
the human unit
being permanently
impounded. For
free emergency
service, call on Jesus.
DANGER: The human
being units not
responding to this
recall action will
have to be
scrapped in the
furnace. The SIN
defect will not be
permitted to enter
Heaven so as to
prevent
contamination of
that facility.
Thank you for your
attention!
- GOD
P.S. Please
assist where
possible by
notifying others
of this important
recall notice, and
you may contact
the Father any
time by 'Knee
mail'!
Because HE
Lives!
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